On Soccer – Piling on Chelsea FC

Spencer Plan is a guest contributor to BBALLJONES.com on the topics of Music & EPL. You can follow him on Twitter @barsandkaps.


Uh oh, a soccer article.

By now you’ve seen the extremely offensive video of Chelsea fans behaving badly. If not, look at this:

And so now you’re starting to wonder, what’s the deal with Chelsea FC? Should I dislike them?

I’m here to help you with that.

When deciding on something it helps to make a list.

5 Reasons to dislike:

5. They play soccer. People who don’t like soccer probably aren’t going to like Chelsea. And though I disagree with their logic it’s hard not to respect their conclusion.
4. Their soccer style is the reason that people hate soccer. Jose Mourinho’s (Chelsea’s manager) dream in life is to score a goal in the first minute and then overload the defensive areas with bodies. They call it parking the bus in front of the goal. While successful, it’s infuriating. If you’re ever trying to get someone to like soccer, DO NOT show them a Chelsea match.

The Worst
The Worst

3. Vladimir Putin. Oh, now we’re talking. Liking soccer requires some moral flexibility, as every EPL owner is some form of Bond villain. You’ve got the South East Asian tycoons, you’ve got the Middle East petrodollar sheiks, you’ve got the American fatcats and, of course, you’ve got the Russian oligarchs. Chelsea has Roman Abramovich. Roman is an oligarch. While I wrote this short post he lost half a million dollars on his steel investments. And he is boys with V. Putin. Supporting Chelsea = supporting Russia. Good work.
2. Success. People dislike success. People would rather support underdogs. Currently, Chelsea sits on the top of the premier league table and control their own destiny. Since 2003, they’ve only finished outside of the top 3 once (2011). The Yankees, Duke, Cowboys, Notre Dame, Chelsea.  Don’t be that person.  Enough already.
1. Their fans. Did you see that video? Oof.

Reasons to like:
1. An indirect reference in this: