I Am Willing To Settle For Weak Passwords

Weak.

My password is weak?

Wow. Now I’m receiving insults when trying to sign up for superfluous smartphone applications. What is this world coming to?

We’re so nuanced at this point that I can have a minimally acceptable password, but still have to suffer the indignity of being told that it’s weak.

I suppose I’m fine with that.

For one reason or another, I’ve decided I’m OK with weak passwords. Maybe it’s because they’re easier to remember. Maybe it’s because passwords scare me. Every time I get a new password, I’m jittery.

I know what you’re saying – Why don’t you write them down in one place?

Because I don’t, OK?

It’s probably related to the reason I haven’t been to the dentist in 3 years and to the reason that the inside of my refrigerator has 2 full, possibly-rotten cartons of almond milk in it.

Side note: I’m still confused about how long Almond Breeze lasts when unopened as opposed to how long it lasts once it’s opened. Multiple expiration dates is a complex situation and I just kind of give up.

And yes, I get that encryption and password security are for my own protection. But I don’t really presume that any of this stuff is safe anyway. I’ve “read stories” about celebrities having their naked pictures posted on the internet. If someone wants my stuff, they’re getting it. I’m going on the presumption that nobody does.

Is there really a difference between Larryfinch21 and larryfinch21 as it concerns the capacities of a Turkish hacking ring?

I don’t think so.

I give them more credit than that.

Also, it’s 2015. Can’t the nerd community band together and figure out a way for me not to have to have so many passwords to begin with? That seems long overdue.

It’s maddening.

This guy could totally destroy my life, but I'm hoping he understands that I respect him and that it's not worth it anyway.
Because I’m willing to settle for weak passwords, this guy could totally destroy my life. But I’m hoping he understands that I respect him and that it’s not worth it anyway.

I literally, probably have 20 passwords. Maybe more.

As I was writing this I just felt a tinge of fear. What if some hacker reads this and decides he wants to teach me a lesson? Then I’m going to feel stupid about having weak passwords.

Please don’t.

I respect you, Mr. Hacker.

I just get my feelings hurt by the programmer who thinks it’s a good idea to tell me that even though my password meets the minimum requirements – he still thinks it’s weak.

That’s weak.