On Gary Parrish, OJ Simpson, Buzz Williams and dannyb73

When the University of Memphis finally hires a basketball coach (dear God please make it today) Gary Parrish will probably be the guy to break the story.

Parrish, a national CBS columnist but local radio host, knows the candidates and the committee. He’s the guy plugged into what’s happening.

So naturally I’m listening to every word he says on the radio as this search drags on.

On Tuesday afternoon, Parrish pulled an OJ Simpson.

No, he didn’t cut anyone’s head off.

But he did utilize a rhetorical trick similar to what Simpson did when he published the book “If I did It: Confessions of the Killer” in which Simpson allegedly puts forth a “hypothetical” description of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

Parrish used the same trick on Tuesday.

“People keep asking me two questions. What would you do if you were heading the University of Memphis search and what do you think the University of Memphis is actually doing? Now, those two things aren’t necessarily the same thing, but they could be. They could be exactly the same thing.”

Parrish said it with a playfulness that indicated he knew something.

He then went on to describe what he would do.

What he would do is offer Buzz Williams (Virginia Tech coach and presumed top candidate if Gregg Marshall is in fact unavailable) the exact same contract he currently has at Virginia Tech, except with financial raises. Put that contract in front of Buzz and at least make him say no before moving on to other candidates.

Parrish went on to explain that he wasn’t sure Buzz would take the Memphis job, but felt certain he’d at least consider it.

Naturally, all night there were rumors that Memphis was in the process of offering Buzz Williams a contract.

It felt to me Parrish was channeling his inner OJ Simpson and actually knows something.

Of course, that’s assuming OJ Simpson actually killed those 2 people.

Everyone I know assumed OJ killed those 2 people, everyone except MemphisTigers.org poster dannyb73.

I know dannyb73 personally, and he always insisted OJ was innocent. Always.

I never got the feeling dannyb73 really believed that, but he always insisted it nonetheless, which brings me to my 2nd Gary Parrish story of the day. One that happened a few hours earlier.

I tuned into the Geoff Calkins show yesterday morning to hear him interview Parrish.

They were talking about 2nd tier candidates and the name Tad Boyle (Colorado coach) was being discussed.

“The name that started surfacing on social media last night was Tad Boyle. I guess it could be Tad Boyle. I wouldn’t understand the fit for him or for The University of Memphis, but that is a name that started popping on social media pretty randomly and I don’t think somebody just invented Tad Boyle out of nowhere.”

Parrish and Calkins went on to talk about Boyle for the next several minutes and Parrish, though clearly skeptical of the sourcing, reinforced the validity of the rumor.

“Somebody heard that from somebody.”

Wrong, Gary.

Nobody heard it from anybody. Somebody did invent Tad Boyle out of nowhere.

That person? dannyb73

How do I know?  He told me.

That’s right.  The same guy who convinced me he thought OJ didn’t do it, convinced a national columnist he knew what he was talking about, though that wasn’t his intent necessarily.

He was just messing with some dudes. It’s what dannyb73 does for fun.

Allow him to explain:

“There’s so many keyboard tough guys (on MemphisTigers.org) and they’re going to refute anything you say whether it’s true or not. Everybody plays tough guy on there – it’s negative 3/4 of the time and they’re gonna bash you – and so turnabout is fair play.”

This is what happens when national columnists read message boards, or talk to people who read message boards.

And I’m not bashing Parrish here. I realize Parrish knows a lot more about what’s happening than he’s allowed to say. Since he can’t break the confidentiality of his sources, Parrish is left to fill radio time talking about message board rumors.

And when that fails, to employ the OJ Simpson hypothetical.

Either way, I’ll be tuning into every word Parrish says again today – because his “hypothetical” scenarios have more basis in reality than anything else out there – unless dannyb73 is involved.